What we do
Who we see
The Havelock Clinic is for anyone who wishes to make improvements in their sex life, whether there has been problems or just simply a new focus or direction wanted.
Couple work or individual work?
If you are not in a relationship with a regular partner come and see us on your own- we can still do something really useful to improve your confidence and get you feeling happier about your sex life again. If you are in a relationship with a regular partner or partners we will talk with you at some point about how to include them, even if you don’t bring them to start off with. We value all relationship structures and types at The Havelock, don’t feel your partner has to be regular, long term, or singular to be useful to the work. We can also do appointments by Skype if you and your partner are in different locations.
The Havelock Clinic has a strong LGBT background and passion, as all of the team have worked in services for LGBT people, or identify as LGBT themselves. We feel strongly that LGBT people should not have to fit into the narrow descriptions of sex, relationships, monogomy or sexual norms that are mostly used in our heteronormative culture (to be honest, we feel heterosexuals shouldn’t have to either but that’s another story!), We pride ourselves in being knowledgeable around practices, norms and terminology that you might want to talk about.
The sexual problems listed above are experienced by all people, regardless of sexual orientation, but there are some specific sexual difficulties for LGBT people which we have particular expertise in:
- Making decisions you feel good about around chemsex.
- Feeling more in control of sex and sexual choices.
- Worrying less about STI’s.
- Adjusting to new diagnoses like HEP C or HIV.
- Making decisions about relationship structure (ie open/monogamous/poly) and keeping your sex life and/or relationship strong after making these choices.
- Keeping your sex life strong in serodiscordant relationships.
- Enjoying sober sex.
- A place to reflect on expressions of sexual identity for trans or non-binary people and their partners.
Sexual MOT Appointments
We at The Havelock believe that a good sex life is not just an absence of sexual problems. We also believe that even a good sex life can (and should) get better. The Sexual MOT session is designed for individuals or couples who give sex high priority and want some time with an experienced clinician to focus on new goals, directions or hopes. For example:
- A one off or a yearly space to review how sex is going, where you would like it to be and plan how to get there. -An opportunity to review how something is working and troubleshoot problems before they arise e.g. negotiating keeping sex on the agenda after starting a family, or maintaining a good sex life in the face of other life pressures.
- A chance to negotiate a new way forward in new circumstances, for example, when thinking of moving your relationship from monogamous to open (or vice versa!).
Having a third person to facilitate, provide expertise and help you plan can help you negotiate what you want, develop a strategy to make it happen and reach your goals- think of us as a personal trainer for your sex life!